Blog Post #1a: Introduction, or How You Will Know What This Blog Is About And Why I Would Attempt Such A Thing As This (Not Voluntarily)

Introduction (If you are going to skip this introduction like I know you want to do, please at least read the disclaimer in the last paragraph)
This is a blog that has been created to fulfill the requirements of my 20% time project. Whether or not it does that is to be seen, and if we are being honest with ourselves, seems unlikely. For those unfamiliar, 20% time is an idea my beloved instructor blatantly stole from Google (to be fair, he did credit them when introducing this project), who blatantly stole the idea from 3M's 15% project. In a typical Google move, Google had to kick things up a notch and changed it to 20% time, thus popularizing this phenomenon in a format 5% better than it previously existed. So it goes. Nothing is original anymore, and as you will soon see from my blog's unabashed and shameless idea stealing from overrated publications like Pitchfork.com and theneedledrop.com, I just don't care. Anyways. The question my glorious instructor has posed to us is "How will you enhance your world?" That question initially staggered me, as it has essentially been the goal of mankind since the beginning of humanity, and I really didn't know the answer. I then decided to give up on saving the ENTIRE world and began trying to improve my own world, which is how every happy man since the beginning of mankind has answered that question. I began thinking, and then realized that most of my day consists of listening to music, talking about music, thinking about music, and making music. I don't do a whole lot with my time. My 20% time is to write a series of music reviews. I'm not changing the world, walking old ladies across the street, or pulling a third world country out of poverty like many of my classmates. I chose to write music reviews because I genuinely care about the music I listen to. I am one of the few people that can say music has changed my life and helped me find who I am as a person, and not in the cheesy, basic way that every "deeper than thou" stoner claims music has affected him. On top of that, I feel that many of my friends and peers do not listen to music "properly." I put this word in quotes, as music is a completely subjective experience and to say that there is a best way to listen to music is among the stupidest things I've ever heard in my life. What I mean by this is that many people do not listen to music by the album, the format the artist usually intends it to be listened to in. Many do not search for a deeper meaning in their music, appreciate the effort or artistry put into even the most simplistic music, and simply enjoy music in its most simplistic form. While there is nothing wrong with that, it is somewhat akin to eating only cheese pizza for one's entire life. Cheese pizza is more than a solid option, but to never experience the joys of a vastly superior sausage pizza is just a shame. I personally feel that one of the best ways to learn how to appreciate music for what it is intended to do is to read things from the perspective of another person who is analyzing the music for them. I also have inherit issues with most of the other music publications. Pitchfork has generally become a pretentious mess and, to make things worse/better, has sold out to the man, maaaaan.  Consequence of Sound has been lying to us now about something that is so far from a joking matter that it offends me on a personal level that they would even pretend to have the inside scoop on something like this (expect a doting modern classic review of at least one, possibly two, LCD Soundsystem albums in future blog posts). The Needle Drop is... well, fine, I guess, but I still have yet to find anybody that agrees with Anthony Fantano more than 60% of the time on his scores, and I'm not sure if I would want to take musical advice from somebody who so strikingly resembles a cantaloupe. I also do not believe that most music publications are easily readable for the average person, as most of them are publications devoid of any humor (save The Needle Drop), and usually just try to impress the reader with pretentious writing and music jargon that means absolutely nothing to anybody.

My biweekly goals for this assignment are as follows:

As this is an assignment with an objective sense of complete/incomplete, the required question asking me how I intend to measure my progress doesn't even warrant a response in my book.

The final requirement of my introduction is listed as "establish your voice." I feel that I have properly done this, so now is the time to issue my disclaimer. My voice is one of sarcasm, irony, satire, mocking, exaggeration, and occasionally formality. I like to poke fun at things. I like to be dramatic about issues. Yes, I know my hyperlinks barely make sense and are usually irrelevant. I get sidetracked often, and it is usually intentional rather than the product of poor writing. I don't need organizational issues to prove to my readers that I am not a professional writer. I have my prose for that. Doing these things for the sake of humor makes my posts much more readable and entertaining (at least to me), and is a style of writing that I personally enjoy. As a person, I rarely feel as strongly on issues as I appear to here. When I poke fun at things like my teacher, other sites, artists, albums, etc. it is nearly always for the sake of a joke and in good humor. I mean no offense to anybody. Creating an album, be it good or bad, is an immense undertaking and is to always be respected. Also to keep in mind is that these are the writings of a single human being. Music is very subjective, possibly the most subjective of any of the art forms. My opinion is not the right or wrong answer, and neither is any opinion that is not your own. I am simply here to share how I interpret music in a humorous and entertaining way that hopefully inspires you to think a little more about the piece of art playing in your headphones. I do minimal proofreading and revisions, and thus this blog is already undoubtedly filled with errors already. Expect me to contradict myself multiple times throughout this project. I just don't really care. You'll find that is a common theme with me. Anyways. Any images, videos, songs, or other media used in this blog are not my own unless designated otherwise, and are used fairly.

NOTE: My blog posts will come in sections designated by numbers and letters. I cannot write 5-6 album reviews in a single blog post, as that is inefficient and far too much writing in one block for the average person's attention span. This post is designated as Blog Post 1a. My first classic review will be designated as Blog Post 1b, the next review will be Blog Post 1c, so on and so forth until I finish what I feel is enough work to feel good about, and enough for my teacher to properly grade. Any random blog posts that I am doing purely for my own entertainment and that I do not wish to be graded will not be assigned to one of my six blog posts. They will just have a title, but no number.